I had a similar bucket of cold water thrown in my face when my fiance died a day after proposing. He was hit by a car.
I wasn't there to see it (or I'd probably be in a rubber room to this day), but it affected me and how I look at the world profoundly.
There is definitely a sense of "this can all be taken away in a heartbeat" to everything and everyone in my life, but instead of having the "so why bother" attitude that I did for about five years after Matt died, I try for the "so enjoy it completely while you can" mode.
It's hard to make sure that I won't regret anything that happens or that I do. That's impossible. But I at least strive to ensure that there is something I take away from every encounter and experience. Even if it's a "well, I'll never do THAT again". :)
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I wasn't there to see it (or I'd probably be in a rubber room to this day), but it affected me and how I look at the world profoundly.
There is definitely a sense of "this can all be taken away in a heartbeat" to everything and everyone in my life, but instead of having the "so why bother" attitude that I did for about five years after Matt died, I try for the "so enjoy it completely while you can" mode.
It's hard to make sure that I won't regret anything that happens or that I do. That's impossible. But I at least strive to ensure that there is something I take away from every encounter and experience. Even if it's a "well, I'll never do THAT again". :)